What if someone had a terminal illness, and she did nothing to fight it because she always knew, whatever she did, it's the same. It will never be gone. So instead of spending time in hospital, having medicine every single hours, doing chemo, then dying alone, she would rather live just like everyone else. Worrying about pimples breakouts, chuckling about a cute nerdy guy in another class, or wondering what she will have for lunch. How she's really heal from the illness is just to never think about it.
Then time passed and she realized it would stay in her head no matter what. It changed her slowly, from a fact that she may not be here long